Introduction: Tom Thomson School, Ontario
Continuation & Illustration: École Paul-Bruchési, Québec
It's almost ready!" exclaimed the scientist as he was about to complete his latest invention. "Just a handful of grounded nuts," but the scientist didn't realize that he added ground coffee beans instead of nuts. "Barry! Bring me my squirrel!" the scientist demanded.
“It's Carl, Sir."
“Sorry, Matt."
"Oh never mind," sighed Carl. "Here's your squirrel."
"Finally, my invention is complete!" declared the scientist as he was injecting the liquid into the squirrel. The instant he finished, the lights went out and the room went black.
A moment later, the lights turned back on and the squirrel was GONE!
"Steven, you fool, what have you done to my squirrel?" the scientist asked.
"For the one hundredth-and-first time, my name is Carl and I did not touch your squirrel. You injected her with caffeine, not nuts!"
The scientist and Carl heard scratching noises. Then they heard the sounds of crying.
"Oh my god," said Carl. "The squirrel just had nine babies. How will we ever get any work done now?"
The scientist clapped his hands. "This is fantastic news. Now I will have nine more squirrels to experiment on."
At that moment, the scientist decided to brush his teeth. When he reached for the toothpaste, he accidentally grabbed a jar of peanut butter instead. "I would like a little jelly, too," he said as he brushed his teeth.
Carl thought to himself, "It is time for me to change jobs. I need a normal boss."
In the mean time, the baby squirrels were invading the lab. They ran along the walls and over the shelves. Some of the glass test tubes crashed to the ground. There was shattered glass everywhere!
The baby squirrels chased the scientist around the lab. They wanted the peanut butter!
The scientist tripped over a baby squirrel. "Ow!" he yelped.
Carl laughed.
"Bob!" said the scientist, "stop laughing at me!"
"For the one hundredth-and-second time, my name is Carl!"
The mother squirrel was full of caffeine. She jumped onto the scientist's shoulder and bit his nose.
"Frank, help me!" the scientist screamed.
"I'm not helping you unless you remember my name!"
"Okay, George. That's your name, isn't it?"
“No, it isn't. I am quitting this lousy job! Find yourself a new assistant." Carl stormed out of the lab.
The scientist was having hallucinations. He saw dancing sausages, ducks eating bears, and he heard the sun talking to him. The sun said, "You're an idiot!"
The scientist had more hallucinations. In his head, he saw the letters “C,” “A.” “R.” and “L” flashing like traffic lights. But he did not know what the letters meant. “I am afraid I have rabies. Rabies can cause hallucinations. I need help! Bertrand, please help me! That is your name, isn’t it? Or is it Christophe? Christophe, I beg you, help me! Bernadette, please!”
But no one came to help the scientist.
The letters “C,” “A,” “R,” and “L” flashed again in the scientist’s head. “Carl!” he shouted. “That’s your name, isn’t it?”
Just then, Carl entered the laboratory. He was carrying a bag from the pharmacy. “For the one hundredth-and-third time, my name is Carl!” Then Carl smiled. “Oh my, you finally remembered my name.” He gave the scientists some pills to calm him down. “I will take you to the hospital for an injection,” Carl told the scientist.
The squirrels decided to go to the hospital too. The doctor in the emergency room sent the squirrels to the veterinarian. The veterinarian treated the squirrels for rabies, too. “From now on,” the veterinarian told the squirrels. “No more coffee! It gets you too excited! But you can eat lots of peanut butter. It’s full of peanuts and protein!”
One month later, Carl was in his house watching T.V., when he saw his old boss doing a commercial. “You will love my new peanut butter and jelly-flavoured toothpaste!” the scientist said. In the background, Carl saw nine squirrels and their mother dancing in circles. Then they licked the scientist’s teeth.
The scientist looked into the camera and said, “Carl, are you watching this? If you are, I would like to introduce you to my squirrel friends. I’ve learned all of their names. Please meet Barry, Matt, Steven, Bob, Frank, George, Bertrand, Christopher, Berndadette, and of course, their mother Carole. We have registered to be in a squirrel circus. Carl, why don’t you come and be my new assistant?”
